


Desolation

by Blackghost7



Category: NCIS
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, M/M, Making Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-22
Updated: 2015-01-22
Packaged: 2018-03-08 15:48:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3214769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blackghost7/pseuds/Blackghost7
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>His lover takes care of him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Desolation

He stands on the back porch, looking out over the snow covered lawn in the semi-darkness, freezing in the biting cold without his coat and gloves, but unwilling to go inside to get them, and smokes a cigarette. He rarely smokes, but he picked up a pack on his way home, and he’s smoked six already. This is his seventh in about forty minutes, and he feels the burn in his lungs, tastes ash in his mouth and his throat feels raw. But that could just as easily be from the cold. Or from the emotions he’s trying to suppress, biting down on them, trying to swallow down the lump that’s been there since late afternoon. He’s shivering from the cold, not caring to admit that it might be from something else, and the skin of his hands feels dry and flaky, his fingers are numb. His entire body is numb. But that’s from the cold too, not from anything else, he tells himself. He takes another drag and almost chokes on it.  
   
He hears the back door open and shut, and moments later a thick blanket is wrapped around him, strong arms too, holding the blanket in place. His lover presses his warm, coat covered body against his back, and his shivering increases. He takes another drag and hears his lover sigh, feels the puff of warm breath against the back of his neck, and shivers more. He can no longer convince himself that it’s just from the cold. He takes his final drag and flicks the butt of the cigarette into the snow, joining the others he already threw out there. He takes a few deep breaths, trying to clear his lungs of smoke, knowing it will make no difference. He will taste of ash and the smell of smoke will linger on him until he washes it off, but he needs his lover now. Turning around without breaking the embrace of those strong arms, he rests his forehead against his lover’s, the two of them breathing the same air for a few moments, and hopes his lover won’t mind the smoke. Then he presses their lips together, and they share soft, chaste kisses, while he places his hands on his lover’s hips under the blanket, pulling them close together.  
   
They stand there for another few minutes, but when his wild shivering nearly causes their lips to dislodge, his lover gently pulls him towards the back door and ushers him inside. Releasing him for only a moment, his lover quickly takes off and hangs up his coat, then returns to him and kisses him softly. Bringing up his hands to cup his lover’s cheeks causes the blanket to shift now that it’s not being held in place by an embrace, and he lets it fall to the floor in favor of kissing his lover. He’s still shivering like crazy, but he needs the contact right now, and his lover’s body is warmer than the blanket had been. They stand pressed against each other, and when his lover coaxes his lips open and slips his tongue inside, he spares only a fleeting thought to the taste of the cigarettes his lover must be getting, before forcing himself to focus fully on the movements of his lover’s tongue inside his mouth, gentle and sweet. When his lover starts tugging him towards the stairs, he follows meekly, and lets himself be taken upstairs to their bedroom in between kisses.  
   
Once in the bedroom, his lover starts undressing him, tender hands caressing him while he’s being kissed and divested of his shirts and pants. When his lover kneels down in front of him to untie his shoes and remove them, together with his socks and pants, he takes a couple of deep breaths, but it doesn’t help him settle, and he’s shaking uncontrollably now. His lover quickly undresses himself too and presses against him again, their naked flesh a sharp contrast against each other, his lover’s warm skin against his cold one feels almost like it burns him wherever they touch. It’s the first time since this afternoon that he hasn’t felt completely numb, and he almost misses the torpor, almost. But then the kisses return and his lover guides him towards the bathroom, turns the shower on full to heat up, while distracting him with more kissing, caressing his hands across his back and sides, chests pressed against each other. When the bathroom is almost filled with steam from the warm water, his lover tugs him into the shower stall and eases him under the spray. The water is only warm right now, not hot, but it burns against his almost frozen skin, and he welcomes the feeling, tired of the numbness that has held him captive for long hours.  
   
His lover just holds him close and continues his gentle kisses, gradually turning up the temperature of the water until the shivering subsides and the feeling has returned to his extremities. It’s only then that his lover releases him for a moment to get the shampoo, and starts softly rubbing it into his hair, trailing his fingers through it with care, then rinsing it out carefully, keeping the suds out of his eyes. His lover leaves him alone under the spray for short moments to quickly wash his own hair, then picks up the soap and equally quickly soaps himself up, before turning his attention to him again. Returning to his slow and gentle demeanor, his lover runs the bar of soap carefully over his chest and stomach, more a caress than an effort to get him clean, but the result is the same. His lover’s touch is soft and loving, and he feels himself melt under the attention and care. The caresses move to his sides and up to his shoulders, down over his arms and to his hands. Taking first one hand between his own and then the other, his lover gently rubs the soapy suds over and between his fingers, paying attention to each of them separately, and when his hands are rinsed, his lover brings them to his mouth and presses soft kisses to the backs and palms of each, then kisses his fingers before gently nipping the tip of one with his teeth, earning a tiny smile.  
   
Picking up the soap again, his lover turns him around and resumes his gentle care on his shoulders and his back, running the soap lovingly over the expanse of his skin, sliding his fingers over the muscles and scars he finds there, kissing him softly between his shoulder blades. Then the attention shifts to his hips and legs, and his lover kneels beside him to caress the soap down each of his legs, pressing kisses to the crook of his hip while he almost massages the suds over the strong thighs and runs his hands down over his calves and shins, down to his feet. When his lover nudges him to lift one foot so it can be soaped up, he places one hand against the wall to aid him with his balance, and sighs when his lover’s fingers gently dig into the sole of his foot, massaging softly, before rubbing his toes. His other foot gets the same treatment, and he feels himself relax minutely.  
   
Then his lover turns to his back again, and starts soaping up his ass, kneading the firm globes before letting his fingers slide between them, the suds making him slick. His lover is still on his knees behind him, and when he feels his lover’s breath on his ass, he rests both hands against the wall and lets his head hang between his arms, then widens his stance a little. It’s still a surprise when he feels his lover’s tongue lick down his crack, but it’s a pleasant one, and he shivers again, but this time it’s definitely not from cold. When his lover’s tongue breaches him, he sighs in pleasure, and feels himself get hard immediately. He stands there, motionless, lost in pleasure for long minutes while his lover’s tongue teases him, and almost moans in disappointment when the tongue disappears. Still on his knees, his lover nudges his hips and turns him around, picking up the soap again and lathering up his hands before reaching up and soaping his hard length and his balls, his touch and strokes teasingly soft, not enough to bring him off. He’s only half hoping that his lover will take him into his mouth, because he doesn’t want this to end yet, and so when his lover only washes him clean and then gets up, he’s not too disappointed, and he gets a few more deep kisses in supplication before his lover steps out of the shower.  
   
His lover towels himself off quickly, then shuts off the water and tugs him out as well, wrapping him in a large, fluffy towel and gently rubbing him dry. The same attention is given to each part of his body that was paid in the shower with the soap, and his skin is now rosy from the hot water and he’s almost painfully hard, breathing deeply when his lover teases his length and balls with the towel, almost caressing him dry. When his lover is satisfied he’s gotten every drop of water off him, he’s kissed again and guided to the bedroom, to the bed, and gently laid down on the mattress. As he settles on his back, his lover crawls up over him and kisses and caresses him from his toes all the way up to his lips, spending long minutes lingering there before retracing the path down again. This time when his lover reaches his hardness he stops there, and takes him in hand, licking him sensually for long moments before finally taking him into his mouth. It’s soft and gentle and not intended to bring him to completion, his lover is just continuing lavishing attention on him, and after a few minutes turns his attention to his balls, the soft rasp of tongue over his sack causing shivers of pleasure again. Then his lover returns his mouth to his shaft, nibbling softly up until the tip is reached and he is once again swallowed down. But when his lover starts brushing fingers over his entrance, he knows this is not what he wants right now, not what he needs, and for the first time since his lover brought him in from the cold, he stops just reacting and starts to take control.  
   
He brushes his fingers through his lover’s hair and gently pulls him up, his other hand on his lover’s shoulder, guiding him up to his lips again to nibble and lick before deepening the kiss. He caresses his hands over his lover’s back and sides while their tongues softly slide against each other, then rolls them over so his lover is on his back and he can lavish attention on his lover’s body in the same way he’s been receiving. He pecks kisses down his lover’s neck, pausing at the sensitive spot under the ear to lick and softly suck there, before moving further down, his lips continuously in contact with his lover’s skin, kissing and licking every inch. When he reaches his lover’s nipples and fastens his mouth on them one by one, his lover writhes and pants in excitement under him, then he moves again and kisses the soft skin of his lover’s belly, dipping his tongue into the navel, earning a pleased little moan. His hands caress his lover’s chest and sides until they reach his hips, and he slides his body down between his lover’s legs to gain access to his hardness. He licks up the shaft, short strokes of his tongue, all around, up and down, and gently grazes the velvet skin covered steel with his teeth, then runs his tongue softly over the leaking tip, gathering the moisture and savoring its taste. Then he swallows his lover down.  
   
He keeps it gentle and teasing, varying the depth and strength of his suction, sometimes focusing on the tip, then taking his lover all the way down his throat. His hands have moved from his lover’s hips to his shaft and balls, and he strokes and rolls them between his fingers, then moves his lips there too, taking one of his lover’s balls into his mouth and softly sucking, repeating that treatment with the other. He then returns to his lover’s hardness, resuming his previous gentle teasing, finding the lube his lover threw onto the covers earlier and slicks up his fingers. He brushes his fingers softly over his lover’s entrance a few times before gently pressing one in, takes his time to prepare his lover thoroughly, keeping up his ministrations with his mouth and tongue, just enough to keep him close to the edge but not allowing him to fall over it. Only when he feels his lover is loose and ready, does he start kissing his way up again, reaching his lover’s lips and claiming them with a deep kiss. Then he wraps his lover’s legs around his hips and slides into him slowly, holding his lover’s gaze while he pushes in, leaning down for a kiss when he bottoms out at last.  
   
He keeps it slow and tender, his movements gentle and caring, more about connection and love than about reaching release, though that inevitably comes. He changes the angle and depth of his thrusts, sometimes nudging his lover’s sweet spot, other times just sliding in and out at an almost leisurely pace, and he doesn’t even feel the strain on his muscles at holding this position for so long. His lover’s eyes are glazed over with pleasure, and he catches his lover’s soft moans in the kisses he continues to give, but he himself stays quiet throughout. When he feels his lover is ready to explode, he reaches down between them and grasps his lover’s hardness, stroking slowly but firmly and bringing his lover over the edge. He’s not ready to let go yet, needs his control a little longer, so he forces himself to keep his motions gentle. He lasts only a few more minutes before his own release suddenly creeps up on him and he loses himself into his lover in long drawn out spurts.  
   
His control shattered, he barely manages to let himself drop to the side so he won’t crush his lover as he collapses, and in between the heaving breaths his lungs force him to take to recover from his climax, he feels the tears start to run down his cheeks. He feels lost, so lost, and he clings to the only thing that still makes sense to him, and wraps his arms around his lover tightly, holding close and burying his wet face in his lover’s neck, the sobs making his body shudder, still not uttering a sound. His lover holds onto him equally tightly, pressing kisses into his hair as his lover feels the pain that wracks his body. He knows that his lover is worried, is wondering what is going on, but he can’t say it yet, can’t acknowledge it just yet. It’s so unfair, it’s way too soon, and he isn’t ready, they aren’t ready, there is more still to say, to do, to get through and get closer. They’re just starting on the path to how it should be, and it can’t be over yet. But he knows he can’t change it, can’t go back and do things differently, and his heart breaks a little with the knowledge that now they’ll never get there.  
   
His lover holds him close and presses kisses to the top of his head and strokes soothing caresses over his back and sides, lets him rage and waits patiently until the storm finally passes and blows itself out. When he quietens at last and the tears have stopped flowing, his lover cups his chin and raises his face to him, brushes the wetness off his cheeks with the pads of his thumbs and places soft, chaste kisses on his lips until he finally opens his eyes to look at his lover. He lets himself be calmed further by the steady, reassuring gaze of those beloved orbs, feels the strength of his lover support him and flow into him, and at last he can clear his throat and say the dreaded words that caused this desolation.  
   
“Senior died this morning, Jethro.”  
   
 


End file.
